


Sunrise

by postmodern_robot



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Multi, Multiple Pov, Original Character(s), Post-Canon, Season 8 Spoilers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-09-26 12:03:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17141408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postmodern_robot/pseuds/postmodern_robot
Summary: What is "home"?"Home is where this sun rises, and where this sun sets." - That’s one idea."Home is the community you love." - That's another.Or, two boys from the same town on a tiny blue planet called Earth only figure out the meaning of "home" when they venture out into the galaxy, and find that they're never too far from each other.





	1. Family

For the first time in his life, James doesn’t know what “home” means. It’s been three years out in space on the Atlas, living with her drills, stabilizing the galaxy, flying out into who knows what or where among the stars. Every day is a surprise, every day packed in close quarters with his fellow pilots and living among an adopted family. Every day is the reality of the dream he had when Takashi Shirogane himself first stepped into his classroom all those years ago.

Well now he’s back on Earth and James doesn’t know how to place himself in it. He loves it still, his body sings with the familiar gravity, but it also feels oddly alien, like any other beautiful planet or home he’s seen over the last few years. Or maybe it’s Earth itself - Earth hasn’t been the Earth that James once knew for a long time. It’s changed for the better - a hub for the galaxy, a beacon of cooperation, and James is proud to be part of that. It’s long since recovered from the darkness of Sendak’s occupation.

Some things will never be the same; his hometown is gone, destroyed in the initial onslaught. James is grateful that his sister, and many of the people he’s known all his life survived, but rebuilding was impossible - the ion cannon destroyed the very earth of the town itself, and it would be a few centuries before that ground could sustain life again. Rebuilding wasn’t impossible, but with most of Earth in a state of recovery, it just wasn’t a priority. Instead, everyone who survived the labour camps went to find new “homes” on this new Earth, or even elsewhere. So, the physical things - the house he grew up in, the trees he climbed, the boy scouts office, his little-league baseball field, the school where he had found his destiny - all were dust.

The truth is, he’s the alien now - maybe Earth has changed, but so has he...and maybe “home” can’t be too literal a concept. The thought makes him feel unsettled. That’s why he’s sitting at the edge of a rock cliff at 0400 in the morning on the first day of his shore leave for Admiral Shirogane and Commander Curtis’ wedding; he’s trying to see something he’ll never see anywhere else in the galaxy.

The show is slow but worth it, and James is in no hurry to go anywhere. The sky lightens. A pitch-black sky dotted with burning stars turns light grey, eventually followed by a tinge of light blue on the horizon. A pale orange glow creeps up, followed by the blazing sun, and James has to put his aviators on. There’s only one Arizona sunrise in all the universes in this reality, and for a few hours, it grounds James back to this concept - once so solid in his mind, now more a fluttering in the contemplative corners of wandering heart.

Home.

Home is where this sun rises, and where this sun sets.

That’s one idea.

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m glad there are Juniberry flowers in these bouquets. I always thought Mom would love them.” James helps his sister clean up their parents’ gravesite, and feels guilty that she’s had to do this on her own. There’s not much to clean, it’s more because the Griffins were proudly action-based people - good neighbours, good citizens, always doing or serving. The pressure of it was stifling sometimes, but James also took pride in it. It was only war that taught him that sometimes you needed to break the rules to be a good citizen - his parents had tried to teach that to him too, but there was only so much a 13-year-old could absorb. Still, it just feels right to be busy “doing” around Mom and Dad.

Mom, Dad. For the most part he’s processed the pain but you never really get over the loss. You just learn to live with it better. While he was safe behind the Garrison’s shield, grounded because Admiral Sanda wouldn’t call the MFE’s to battle, his parents were saving their neighbours. They had died, trying to save Mrs Collins from the collapsing school building, but the kids had made it out. His parents were ex-Air Force, he’s an MFE pilot, Eleanor, his sister, is a doctor. They’re Griffins, they serve.

“Yeah, kinda last minute honestly?” Eleanor smiles, stroking a petal. “I saw them in the market this morning and decided to add them. I fell in love with them when I went to Altea for that medical conference earlier this year. It’s just amazing James! I know I talk your ear off about it whenever we call each other but really! The kind of technology they have has pushed our medical knowledge forward by...I never imagined I would be able to do any of this when I went to med school, it was all a sci-fi fantasy!”

James gives her a crooked smile, he knows exactly how she feels. “Yeah and now we’re living the sci-fi fantasy. You know I’ve been to Altea, but it’s never for very long. We resupply or speak with Coran and the other Alteans, then head off again. I miss having that guy on the Atlas actually.”

Eleanor knows all about Coran, the MFEs, and basically everyone in James’ life. They speak at least once a week because communications is another great improvement thanks to alien technology being fused with Earth’s and the Holt family’s genius. In so many ways, she’s kept him sane. His state of mind since being able to talk to her again has calmed significantly, even when they’re separated by vast distances in space, than when he was here on Earth with her and unable to talk to her at all.

Eleanor clears her throat. “Actually I wanted to speak to you about it, Altea. I think I’m going to move there for a few years.”

James feels his jaw drop, before forcing it closed again. “Altea Ellie, that’s great. Um...when?”

“A months from now. There’s still things to clear here, but there’s an interplanetary exchange program that I’ve been invited to. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it till now, I think I was trying to ignore it but...Jamie, I can’t say no.”

He’s never heard her this happy or excited since “before.” “You shouldn’t have to Ellie. I mean, we’d probably see each other more often.” They both grin at that, then look at their parents’ tombstones and sober up. “It’s weird. I mean, I know that Mom and Dad would encourage us to go as far as we can, and it’s irrational I know, but it also kinda feels like…”

“Abandoning them.” She finishes for him. “Yeah I know.” After a pause, she continues, “I was invited earlier this year, actually. It took me this long to admit to myself what I really wanted, and I can just hear them in my head, telling me to go, but you’re right Jaime, it feels…” She sighs.

He can’t say anything, words can’t express them as well right now, so James envelops her into a hug. “Ellie, you deserve this. If you want to go to Altea, nothing should stop you. It wouldn’t be fair, me being able to...and you feeling stuck here. I’m sorry I didn’t know, I thought you wanted to stay.”

“I...I did. For a while. But...it’s time for me to move on. I couldn’t in the beginning you know? It felt like running away when our home needed me the most. You had to help other planets out there and that was your job, me? I’d stay and rebuild our home. But now it’s different. I think they would want that, it’s my turn to see what I can do for the universe. The grounds are well cared for, and you know this ritual, laying flowers, speaking to them...it’s more for us, than it is for them.”

She’s not wrong. Doesn’t change how it feels though. Maybe time will eventually heal that too.

 

* * *

 

 

“I look ridiculous.” James stares at his reflection flatly, one eyebrow raised in judgment against Nadia’s taste.

“You look incredible! Like...bad biker boy hot! We’re pilots James! We pull off the leather!”

She slaps a hand against his arm and the leather jacket mostly absorbs it. That’s cool, and the jacket admittedly could be great, but even if it wasn’t too tight around his shoulders, and chest (he could barely zip it up), it doesn’t quite strike him as “him.” It’s also just not what they’re shopping for. “Nadia we’re shopping for Admiral Shirogane’s and Commander Curtis’ wedding, not a flight show! We should be in the tux section!”

“BORING!”

“Hey guys, how do I look?” Ryan steps out in a fantastic suit - trust him to pull off tan with black collars. James glances over at Nadia, hoping he radiates judgment, not that it will stop her.

“I believe the fitting should be taken in at the waist by two inches, and the shoulders loosened.” Ina observes.

Right, about that, “Do you folks do alterations here?” James asks the somewhat star-struck store clerk. They wait, and James has to ask again, but the door opens and the clerk loses his mind halfway through James’ question.

“It’s the Black Paladin! And the MFE pilots in one room! Oh my God! Oh my God! I’ll be right back I need you all to sign my stuff!”

The Bla...Keith??

James turns to the door and has to do a double take. It’s Keith alright - James will never know how it’s possible that Keith can keep disappearing from his life and returning to it in front-and-center ways that’s impossible to ignore. He wonders if everyone else on Earth thinks the same of anyone who’s gone off to space and come back - do he and the others possess the same glamour that Keith seems to have every time he reappears? Keith’s hair is longer - long enough that even he’s decided to tie it back, his movements even more self assured, the air around him calmer than it’s ever been - even though he looks a little surprised at the moment.

“Hi everyone.” Keith waves, a little wide eyed at all of them. “Uh...Ina, Nadia, Ryan, James.” It’s actually kind of impressive he remembers all their names. The Keith he’s used to remembering didn’t really have much space in his head for things that weren’t directly important to him. James doesn't know if he feels complemented or just surprised. Is Keith still looking at him? Yeah, James starts to feel his heart beat a little faster, at least until Keith says, “Nice jacket. Did you get that here?”

Right...the jacket. Not him. And that’s what had struck James as off earlier, the jacket isn’t him, it’s Keith - dark red accent and all. Heck it’s probably even in Keith’s size. He unzips it and hands it over, “It’s the last one. More you than me anyway.”

When Keith finally accepts it and shrugs it on (it’s perfect, of course it is), James has to turn around and look for the damn suit he came here for in the first place. He doesn’t want to stare, but it’s dumb that Keith looks so good in something that James was just wearing but hey, who said James was smart? He grabs some suits off the rack and practically runs to the fitting room before Nadia can throw something else at him.

The first two suits are terrible, he calls it quits by the third, just because it’s tiring to keep changing in and out of them. Maybe he can get this one altered and call it a day. It’s a deep shade of burgundy, with black collars. He doesn’t usually go for shades of reds, but it appeals to him today, after wearing some combination of bright orange, white, and grey for years. He also doesn’t want to spend all day in the shop. White suits were reserved for the grooms and their groomsmen, or so he had heard, and honestly who else would wear white at a wedding when they weren’t the ones getting married?

James steps out from behind the curtains, buttoning up the white shirt and fiddling with the bowtie - how did one tie these again? “Hey guys, did we get an answer about alterations? Because it honestly feels like everything I try on here is just too tight, or built for a giant Galra, and if I wear these as is, I may as well imitate a stick for the whole wedding.”

Ina comes over to help him with the bowtie and Nadia looks like she wants to say something about James and sticks, but thankfully, Keith answers instead. He’s signing a poster with one hand, while carrying what looks like 5 white suits over the shoulder in the other. “They do full-on tailoring here.” He comments with an air of bored exhaustion, he’s too busy to look over, but that’s been Keith ever since he’s returned - all about the immediate mission at hand, securing the happiness of the family he found out in the universe. “And they do it for autographs and cloth from Lance’s sheep. He’ll be happy to cover you guys, I’ll let him know. See you all at the wedding, thanks for coming.” Keith disappears as quickly as he always has, a man on a mission. It’s kind of sweet that Keith approaches being the best man of a wedding with the same intensity as saving the universe, but it still makes him difficult to track down. It takes a moment for James to realize that Keith left wearing the new jacket.

“‘Thanks for coming,’” Nadia laughs. “As if we would miss out! What with Ryan doing the video, and the entire Atlas invited!”

Ryan shrugs, “He looks kinda stressed. Anyway, he was never really a small talk kinda guy.”

“I will inform the shop about our measurements, and I believe we each have...102 posters to sign.” Ina sighs at the pile of posters sitting on the counter.

Right.

“Hey James,” Ryan pats his shoulder. “Nice color.”

“Yeah boss,” Nadia nudges him with a mischievous raised eyebrow. “Very nice.”

James rolls his eyes, he’s used to this by now. “Let’s just sign these posters and go home guys, I think our mission is accomplished for today.”

Before he leaves he can’t help but buy a leather jacket of his own, just one that’s more him, and actually fits.

 

* * *

 

 

The wedding is perfect. There’s not a single dry eye or sad face here - it’s almost impossible.

Not that James had expected anything else with both Keith and Iverson at the helm. The Holts and Slav had built some kind of AI algorithm that calculated the most perfect, sunny late-Spring day, bright and filled with new beginnings; Hunk’s team was responsible for food and catering, bringing together the grooms’ favorite foods from across the galaxy. There’s a heavy helping in the middle of some kind of green Altean goo that didn’t taste all that bad despite how unappetizing it looked. Based on the faces the former Voltron paladins and Coran had when they looked at it, James guessed it was something shared between them. Lance had been responsible for the flowers and decorations, filling the air with a warmth and love that James never knew he had been missing out on until now.

He sees Keith zipping around at the periphery of sight, always making sure everything is going smoothly, guiding the more irritating guests away from the grooms so they don’t have to deal with stress and can just enjoy each other’s company. Keith makes sure that the Admiral and Commander Curtis only deal with guests when they want to, but have the private time to revel in marrying each other when they need to. Kosmo is loyally at Keith’s side at all times, occasionally teleporting him here and there, or completely away to wherever Keith needs to be to run this wedding. It feels like he’s been watching Keith all his life, and it’s become so second nature that his eyes are already anticipating where Keith will be next, before Keith even gets there.

As for himself, James is smiling so much his face hurts, and he can’t remember when he’s last done that - not even Clear Day, maybe before the occupation? There’s something about breathing in the familiar scents of Spring on his home planet, the blue of the sky being just the “right” type of blue. More than that, it’s about bringing his family together - he can finally introduce Eleanor to everyone, and for James it’s his two favorite worlds finally coming together in a way they haven’t been able to, ever.

Home is the community you love.

That answer feels right too - he loves sunrise, and sunset, the sky and the gravity that suits him just right, but for the last three years he’s also felt content being surrounded by the Atlas. All that’s been missing is Eleanor, and even she’s leaving Earth soon. The thought lingers in his mind, still disturbing him in some way, so he grabs more punch, determined to erase it. James is lucky enough to be a guest at the most beautiful wedding in the universe, as far as he’s concerned, and he’s going to enjoy it.

“Hitting the punch hard there Jaime.” Eleanor catches him with the warning tone that only older siblings who are doctors can pull out, even if she’s only a few years older than him.

He grins and holds up a glass to her. “It’s really good! You haven’t had enough of Hunk’s creations! They’re practically happiness and joy exploding in your mouth!”

She laughs at him and steers him away, “I need you to introduce me to Coran - he’s the big guy on Altea isn’t he?”

“Don’t tell him, but as far as I can figure, he is Altea right now.”

When they find Coran, he’s talking to Keith, hands on shoulders as if he’s trying to keep the him from disappearing. Considering how close Kosmo is, it’s entirely possible for Keith to do that. “...all work no play, you must enjoy yourself too lad! This is a celebration!”

Keith gives Coran one of those soft, small smiles that is only reserved for those closest to him, and James momentarily feels like...he needs more wedding punch. He takes a gulp from his glass and decides to smile and speak through the churn instead. “Hey Coran, Keith, sorry for interrupting, but I’d like to introduce you both to my sister. She’s-”

“Doctor Eleanor Griffin!” Coran exclaims with jubilance, “I was so happy to hear you accepted our invitation to the Academy!”

James blinks and looks at Eleanor. She looks equally surprised but recovers quickly, thanking Coran for the invitation. As Coran starts to tell Eleanor about what she can expect from Altea, it leaves James a little dumbfolded but happy - he doesn’t have to do anything really. That’s one of the--

“I should have remembered,” he hears Keith next to him. From the periphery of his sight, James can see Keith’s hand scratching Kosmo’s head. “I used to see her pick you up from school, and she was one of the doctors who attended to me when I was recovering. Thought she looked familiar, but I wasn’t sure if it was the drugs either.”

James finally gathers the courage to look over in full. Keith looks as ethereal as always, perhaps even more so today because it’s the first time James has seen him in so much white. He can almost imagine that it’s Keith getting married since the wedding party is basically dressed the same, but the idea is a fantasy as far as anyone is concerned. Many love and admire Keith, James can list so many names from over the years, but Keith is never concerned with something as paltry as individual romantic love. Keith’s love is reserved for the universe - his Voltron family, the Galra civilization that he’s helping to rebuild, the Blade of Marmora and the people they help. That is how Keith loves - he’s not distracted by just one person. At least, not anymore.

It’s still weird, getting used to a Keith that isn’t solely dedicated to Shirogane, or hell, a Keith that just doesn’t need Shirogane. It’s something that James had never ever thought to see. He remembers burning with jealousy as a first-year cadet. Burning with stress and anxiety, working so hard and so eager to do everything right so he wouldn’t keep anyone else behind - why was he there? James flunked out at Level 3, Keith could have probably made it to 12 if he hadn’t stopped to steal a car.

How times change. Now Keith is a stickler for order and he works all the damn time, James occasionally breaks the rules, and knows how to take a break.

“-ames?”

James blinks, focusing again on Keith’s face, “Sorry Keith, that was...rude of me.” He offers Eleanor’s untouched punch as apology. “Hunk’s really outdone himself, I shouldn’t have drunk so much already, but it feels like drinking pure happiness, I’ve been so distracted, but in a good way?” There’s an excuse for how red he’s turning. “I...you’ve really outdone yourself Keith, this wedding is...it’s nothing I’ve ever seen, but somehow so familiar. It’s like every imagination or fantasy anyone could have of a dream wedding.” It’s not just the perfect day, there really is an ethereal brightness lighting everything - Alteans. It had to be Altean magic, it was just subtly woven into everything that James had to think about it to see it.

It’s Earth magic and universe magic intertwined, kinda like the guy standing in front of him.

“Thanks.” Keith replies cautiously while taking the offered punch, which thankfully frees up James’ hand to scratch Kosmo’s head. “It’s not all me, though. Coran and the others weaved the uh, magic, you just mentioned Hunk’s food…”

“Yeah, and Lance’s flowers.” James takes another sip of punch unconsciously with the glass he’s still holding, because it’s easier to do something whenever he talks to Keith, “But you’re the one who’s made sure it’s all come together and staying together so, that’s on you. Wedding planning’s no joke, I remember when Ellie planned her best friend’s wedding. I heard about it for months.”

He’s about to take another sip when a familiar gloved hand covers the glass he’s about to drink from. It’s the closest that any part of Keith has ever been to him, besides a fist to the face, so James freezes. “Right, thanks James. I’m gonna ask Hunk what he put into this punch...”

When James looks over, he sees Keith trying to solve another problem. Great, more work. It’s actually kind of worrisome. “Hey Keith, I swear it’s not the punch talking, but how long are you sticking around on Earth?” It is most definitely the punch talking, he has never said this many words to Keith that wasn’t related to a mission, ever. He surrenders the second glass without a fight, it frees up both hands to spoil the wolf.

“A month.”

A month?! “Same.”

Keith raises an eyebrow, but otherwise doesn’t say anything.

“Yeah, I applied for extended leave. I haven’t really been back, and Ellie’s moving to a new planet so I wanted to stay and help her pack.” I wanted some time on my home planet to sort out how I feel about where I belong, “See how the recovery efforts are going, catch up with people, the usual, it’s been three years away.”

“Yeah. It’s...good to...touch base.” Keith is getting awkward again, and James is finally remembering that Keith never really liked their town. He wasn’t exactly there by choice in the first place.

“Hey Keith, I,” know you hated our town? “I mean, since you’re also going to be around for a bit, I know that Ellie would love to see you before we pack it all up completely, she likes catching up with old patients to see if they’re okay. Why don’t you come over next week before we pack up the kitchen?”

Keith has a peculiar look sometimes, that James can’t really decipher. It’ll go as expected then Keith will suddenly look at him with a raised eyebrow as if James had just grown an extra head. He got that look when he told Keith and Hunk that he and Veronica were going to help them free Hunk’s parents. It’s the same look now. “I mean,” James adds quickly. “No pressure, I’m sure you’re busy.”

Ellie swoops in to save him, as she’s done so many times. “Yes Keith please! I’d love to have you over if you have time. Otherwise I’m sure we’ll all be seeing each other on Altea.”

Keith manages to work up a smile, then looks suspiciously at the glass. “Doctor, have you had any of this?”

“No!” Ellie laughs. “Not a drop, and honestly I don’t think Jamie’s drunk, I think he’s just...very happy and a little less controlled. I’ll take care of him. Invite still stands though.” She grabs one of James’ arms over her shoulders and steadies him by the waist. Kosmo helps steady him while Keith looks at them, considering. James tries not to look so hard back, he tends to only do it when he knows Keith isn’t looking, but there’s nowhere else to look right now.

Finally, after feels like forever, Keith’s shoulder’s relax and he lets out a small laugh. “Okay Doc, if you’re both...sure. Thanks. But I...don’t know where you live.”

That’s a simple enough problem to solve, and once Keith has her address he disappears to find Hunk, and keep the wedding in order. Ellie just looks at him quizzically with a half smile on her face.

“See Ellie, you didn’t need me to introduce you to Coran.”

She just grins and shakes her head at him, dragging him to their table.


	2. Carved in Stone

“Okay, okay, I need to extend food testing before I approve a new product!” Hunk ruefully declares to a room full of laughter. “How was I supposed to know that Drazan cryxtalan, Yerolux juice, orange juice, guava, and honey would give humans with O-negative blood a happiness high?! I test everything that’s new among different alien species, I didn’t realize I needed to test by blood type too!”

Keith hasn’t laughed this hard in a long time. Then again, it’s been a while since he’s been around Hunk or the rest of the paladins, since the last Allura reunion at least and they don’t usually laugh like this there. The Blades, Acxa, Ezor, and Zethrid are a different kind of camaraderie. Galra humor differed from Earth humor, and Keith sometimes just missed this lightness. Of course, there’s only one Hunk in this whole universe, and Galra don’t usually accidentally drug an eighth of a wedding party with happiness juice. 

It shouldn’t be this funny, but it is. Katie has the lab results on the screen in front of them and even though Keith is laughing with everyone else, there’s a small part of him that’s a little disappointed, even though he knows better. There were lots of nice interactions last night, shame that most of them weren’t genuine. 

Katie pulls on her lab coat and opens the door, “Well we should go check on our patients, see if there are other lingering side effects. And uh,” She laughs some more “Put this on the list of controlled substances. Geez Hunk!”

As the others trail out the door, Keith finds Hunk and places a reassuring hand on his shoulder as they walk out together, “It’s alright buddy, Shiro and Curtis were laughing all the way onto their honeymoon ship.” Shiro was flying Cutis to some place of their own choosing in the galaxy. Sure it was festive all of yesterday and this morning, but perhaps Hunk was getting exhausted of having one of his creations laughed at by now. “Hey, we set out to make Shiro’s wedding unforgettable, and we definitely managed to do that. So…great job.” Shiro’s wedding was more than just a wedding. Somehow it was a celebration of new beginnings in a way that mourning Allura while celebrating her annually was not. Their Voltron story started with finding Shiro broken. It’s only fitting that throwing a party to celebrate Shiro’s wholeness was also about celebrating a universe that didn’t need the lions. At least that’s what he keeps telling himself, but there’s a greater part of him that feels torn asunder. He’s happy for Shiro, but he misses him. He still feels Black sometimes, and she’s calm and happy out wherever she is. Still, he misses her.

“Yeah I know,” Hunk sighs, “It’s just…I don’t know. Can’t really express it yet. But you’re right, there were some pretty great moments last night. Ryan sent me the unedited video. Oh boy! You know Ensign Lee made 235 animal balloons?”

Keith grins at the memory. “He made me a balloon version of my space wolf! There weren’t even 235 guests, I’m impressed he found that many balloons lying around! I definitely didn’t order them.”

“Yeah! Always full of surprises, this crew. I also thought it was just nice to see you and James getting along. I’ve gotten to know the guy and he’s actually really nice! He’s just all serious on missions, like you! So, you’re having dinner with him and his sister next week?”

Keith snorts, as if. He only agreed to get the Griffins away from the punch, “I’m not going to hold them to an invitation made while under the influence of a happiness juice Hunk. They barely knew me, and James manages to have a pretty chill personality to almost everyone else except me. They should enjoy their dinner with close friends.” Still, he didn’t realize that even he missed a version of James Griffin that existed before the garrison - that happy kid who had to talk to everybody. He had tried do that for Keith so long ago, when they had first met, but Keith hadn’t wanted any friends.

“What? No Keith, come on man. If James asked you to have dinner with him and his sister just like that, he must have wanted to. You’re both probably just…I mean I don’t know the story between you two, but he’s pretty...I mean he’s just professional around you. I got the idea he thinks you prefer it that way?”

Keith looks at Hunk’s earnest face and shrugs. Maybe that is what he prefers. He’s never really known how to handle James and he hasn’t had the benefit of fighting in a giant sentient robot with his mind melded together with James’ to help. Speaking of…

They followed Katie to the room where they’ve been monitoring the affected guests. They all seem to have recovered for now, except Ensign Lee is flexing his fingers to loosen the strain on them after…tying 235 balloon animals apparently. Almost on instinct by now, Keith finds James sitting upright against the back of a bed in the corner, so focused on his data pad that he’s pretty much oblivious to the world. When Keith gets closer he sees that James is studying the most recent MFE mission logs and flight patterns, most likely figuring out how to revise drills and enhance the existing MFE training program. No matter what he’s felt about James in the past, he did have to respect his work ethic.

Keith is about to say something when Hunk beats him, “Hey James! How you feeling? Oh man I’m so sorry about the punch, I had no idea? But according to the tests there shouldn’t be lasting damage or addiction issues so don’t worry!”

James puts the data pad aside with an amused grin. “That’s alright Sir, I’m - oh Keith. Hi.” And the smile is gone. Right. What replaces it is the work face from earlier, but still a little softer. That’s the Hunk effect right there. “As I was saying Sir, I’m grateful. The punch didn’t otherwise inhibit any of my capabilities. It just made me stupidly happy for a time last night. My sister has some unforgettable memories that she can hold over me, she wasn’t affected.” James shrugs with a rueful smile. “I mean, Commander Holt has me scheduled for simulator time after this, just to confirm my reflexes are still qualified for flight, but I’m pretty damn sure nothing’s gone wrong there.”

Keith doesn’t miss the slight edge in the tone and can sympathize. He doesn’t know how he would feel about the possibility of permanently impaired piloting abilities because of a food mishap. His hand is on James’ shoulder before he can stop it, but finds he can’t say anything. What is there to say? You’ll be fine? Well Keith can’t guarantee that. That even if James’ ability is impaired he’ll find a way to adapt? Sounds pretty patronizing. Instead he feels James stiffen under his hand, and feels strangely anxious at the response, he takes his hand back and James sinks back against the bed again. Keith takes in a long calming breath and lets it out. “You got this James.”

James looks up in some surprise, then smiles. “Thanks.”

That smile looks more like the one he’s been seeing James give to basically everyone else. Keith doesn’t want to bring it up dinner, but he should out of politeness, to let James know that he and his sister aren’t obligated to have him over.

“By the way Keith,” James adds before Keith can say anything, “About next week, do you have any dietary restrictions? Allergies?”

Before Keith can say anything, Hunk thumps a heavy arm over his shoulders, “Keith can eat ANYTHING!” He says waaaay too enthusiastically “Well, he isn’t really a fan of seafood. But! That’s great! Because you’re not really a fan of seafood either! Well, fish is okay right? Just nothing with tentacles? Not since the-”

“Oh my God, Hunk, I mean Sir, please, stop.” James shudders and turns a little green. “Or if you have to talk about it, can I have some of your magic happiness potion again?”

Hunk laughs and shakes his head, “Sorry Lieutenant, that stuff is uh…off the table from now on, but Keith is usually happy with anything that fills him up, isn’t that right Keith?”

“Pretty much.” What is Hunk doing?

“Great. We can work with that.” James replies, “Anyway Keith, any day of the week is fine, since Ellie and I are both on leave. What’s a good day for you?”

They’re really doing this? But James sounds, well obviously not as happy or enthusiastic as last night, but it doesn’t sound like he’s forcing the invitation either. It’s just controlled, polite. Once upon a time Keith hated polite, but now he’s learned to live with it. He’d be a terrible diplomat without it.

As if sensing something is off, James adds with a grin, “Kosmo’s totally invited too! But uh, we don’t know what space wolves eat?”

“Ooh Ooh! I’ll send it to your datapad! All of Kosmo’s favorite foods!”

Keith has no idea why he’s here, really Hunk can do all the talking for him, and sighs in exasperation. “You know guys…he actually hasn’t told me his name yet.”

James looks up at him, confused, while Hunk just slaps a palm over his face.

 

* * *

 

 

Lance looks far too happy when he finds Keith sitting on the top of his barn, taking in the fresh air in the middle of the farm. “So...Hunk tells me you got dinner with the Griffins on Tuesday?”

Keith scratches his wolf’s head and frowns. “You and Hunk are way too happy about me being invited to dinner somewhere. I get it, you’re both worried I don’t get out that much, but I have been getting out…a lot. It’s kinda nice to just have a quiet holiday on Earth you know? I don’t get a moment alone on Diabezaal. It’s great for this guy though, he gets love everywhere. Don’t you boy?” He doesn’t want to admit that he’s nervous. There’s something about James that’s always put him on edge, always for different reasons. By now it’s habit. Well, they can work together at least.

Lance nods and settles beside him. “Yeah sorry. We do get carried away.”

They sit in silence for a while and Keith is pretty grateful for Lance’s restraint, but just this once he wishes Lance will fill out the silence and drown out his thoughts - confusing memories around James, Shiro, and the last three years trying to stabilize the remnants of Galra civilization. Sometimes Acxa, Zethrid and Ezor act in ways that remind him of younger anxieties, like they expect their reformed lives to come crashing down any day now. He gets that. Maybe he agrees, maybe that hasn’t changed much, it’s just that now he’s more aware of that particular self-destructive tendency of his and does everything he can to not indulge it. Since losing Black and watching Shiro fall in love with Curtis, he’s been doing everything in his power to avoid that tendency.

So he keeps himself busy. Most times he’s glad that his diplomatic responsibilities solely involve the Galra, so he can actually handle it with their strict honor system and direct preferences for communication. The moment any other alien culture gets involved, Keith is out of his depth again and is reminded that he’s not Allura, Shiro, or Hunk or hell…even James Griffin and that guy’s ability to get away with anything.

“Hey Keith, I just gotta ask…you okay?”

Keith scratches Kosmo’s ears and has to let out a resigned smile. “You and Hunk have clearly been worried about me and kinda dancing around it. What is it exactly that I’m doing that’s cause for worry?” He wishes he could tell them, but the truth was, he didn’t really know what was wrong either.

“I know you’ve been talking to Veronica a lot.”

“That’s for advice on how to talk to Acxa. I’ve had to pull her back from self-sacrifice a lot these past few phoebs. It’s getting tiring. Sometimes I wish Veronica would just volunteer with the Blades one of these holidays, I mean it’s not for me to pry but…I kinda think Acxa needs to see her. Actually I’m trying to find an excuse to have her placed as a liaison on the Atlas. They deserve the time together.” Or he’s just being a sap after having his head filled with a wedding for months.

“That would be great!” Lance looks at him wide eyed, “But…I thought Acxa is like…your right hand! She’s the restraint in your gang and…?”

“I dunno Lance. It wasn’t always this bad, it’s just that recently…I don’t know if it’s something personal, or something that she went through that’s coming back to haunt her, or me specifically, but she’s been struggling with something and won’t tell me about it. I’m not the one who can help her. I know how it feels, to not be able to tell someone. I mean once, if it wasn’t Shiro, I wasn’t going to tell anyone shit. I think, Acxa needs Veronica right now, more than I need her help. I’ll manage.”

“Wow Keith, sorry. Veronica…” Lance looks out at the horizon. “I think she’d be more than happy if Acxa were placed on the Atlas for any amount of time. They didn’t really get much time before. How do you think Acxa will handle it if she figures out you’re sending her away?”

Keith takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Seeing as how I’m going to tell her exactly why I’m asking her to liaise on the Atlas, I hope she takes it as an opportunity to speak to the one person who has ever managed to give her the words she needs to hear, other than Lotor.”

Lance’s eyebrows go as high as they can go. “Uh Keith?”

“We operate better with direct honestly.”

“Yeah but...it’s not just Acxa, I think you need to figure something out too. Have you spoken to Shiro? I mean, really spoken to Shiro.”

Keith looks up at the darkening sky. “During the wedding planning, Shiro told me that the doc told him he’s graduated. Doesn’t need to see him anymore. Of course Shiro is free to go back and schedule sessions when he needs to but, I’m so proud of him. Years of hard work, he’s beaten the trauma, as much as it can be beaten. A big part of how and why, is Curtis. Shiro needed someone who wasn’t connected to any of this.” He waves an arm at the universe, the sky. “He needed a sanctuary while he was working through being surrounded by everything that reminded him of, well, all of it. I was kind of naive for a long time I guess, I thought defeating Honerva would help and it kind of did but it didn’t make it go away.” He looks and his hands and curls them into fists, feeling them tense, grounding himself with the breathing exercises his mother than taught him. “Sometimes Lance,” He’s almost terrified to say the next thing out loud, but the paladins know what happened, so it’s safer to admit. “I close my eyes and I still remember Shiro trying to kill me." He also has nightmares where he's...possessed by the dark energy and the things he does just to keep and possess Shiro, no matter what it takes. He sees himself turn into Zarkon and he can't, he just can't say it. "I can’t talk to him about that, I’m not dragging him back down.” 

“Keith…” Lance sounds horrified, and Keith feels a steady hand find his shoulder. “Keith, all these years? You can’t beat that alone, are you getting help?”

“I haven’t been avoiding help Lance! Mom and Kolivan have been so helpful, and Acxa, Zethrid and Ezor go through something similar so we deal with it together. It was great for a while, but now it’s just...it’s like I’m stuck I’m not making progress. It’s better than it used to be though.” Keith has to rub his face with a hand. “Mom...suggested I look for a human doctor. For the longest time, finding out about my Galra heritage answered so many questions. I’ve been more Galra than human all my life, but still, I am human. I don’t know how I’m going to get a doctor here and go to sessions while I’m on missions but…” He shrugs. “I have a month to see if the human doctor idea even makes sense.” 

They stew in silence for a while and Lance looks like he’s thinking carefully about what he wants to say. Keith is not as patient all of a sudden, and breaks the silence, “How are you doing?”

It’s not entirely a good question, Lance is in love with a Goddess, but not able to exist on the same plane as her. Keith’s problems feel entirely too human, too mortal, than the higher plane of understanding that Lance has seemed to have achieved since Allura left. Even though Keith will likely live longer than the average human thanks to his Galra heritage.

“I think,” Lance shrugs, “We can’t rush it.” Good of him to say ‘we’ but all Keith wants to do is rush things. He’s been patient for so long, he just wants to be well, he wants to sleep through the night, he wants to know how it feels to feel settled in himself. For the most part his life is perfect, until it’s not. “I’m doing my best.” Lance continues, “You’re doing your best. You’ll find your human doc, and you have your Mom and Kolivan to help you with the Galran way of thinking about things, you’re doing what makes you happy, gives you purpose, but sometimes too much of a good thing can become a burden too.”

Keith shakes his head, “I can’t stop doing what I’m doing Lance.” He can’t do nothing, as much as he knows taking an extended holiday was a good medical order on paper. He’s already itching for something new to do, now that the adrenaline is running out after successfully organizing Shiro and Curtis’ wedding.

“No, and you shouldn’t. But I think Hunk and I are happy about you having dinner with the Griffins because we know it’s always been harder for you to open up. It feels like a big step. The last friends you made were Acxa, Ezor, and Zethrid. It’s been a while since them and you had that intense shared half-Galra experience with them. But you also kinda…work with them too? You seem to open up once you find out that you can rely on people. So James Griffin kinda makes sense? Shared history, you can work together and respect each other. You know, I used to think that when it came to certain things, you two were actually pretty similar.”

Keith clenches a fist and closes his eyes. “I’m actually kinda tired by now of hearing how similar people think I am to James Griffin.”

“Really? Who else?”

“Acxa.” He rolls his eyes “Ezor and Zethrid. I can’t see it, but,” He shrugs. 

“I’m just saying Keith, you just said that Curtis helped Shiro because he wasn’t part of Voltron, or imprisonment and you know, any of it. You want to send Acxa back to Veronica, and yeah a big part of them is just...Ronnie reminds Acxa that she’s different now. Look I’m not saying you need to uh,” He laughs, “Like marry James Griffin, but I think it helps all of us to have friends outside of our immediate Voltron circle to remind us of the wider world out there. It’s a little easy to get stuck in our own heads otherwise. Come on, try to be a little excited about the prospect of finally being friends with a guy you’ve known since you’ve been a kid - Holy! It just hit me, he’s known you longer than even Shiro! Come on Keith, you’re here a month anyway, and as much as I like having you around, I’m sure you’d like to do a little more than hang out on a farm.”

Keith smirks and tries to wipe away the ridiculous image that Lance has just painted - though at this point, Keith is about as likely to marry James Griffin as much as he’s likely to go that far with anyone. Instead, he looks up again at the stars starting to show themselves, twinkling back down at him. “Yeah, fine. Maybe this time I will listen to you.”

* * *

 

 

Eleanor Griffin lives in the middle of nowhere. Even though Keith is pretty sure he can find her house, or just teleport nearby, James insists on meeting him in front of the Garrison’s gates to lead him. Keith isn’t in the mood to insist or fight about something so paltry, so he shrugs and agrees. Besides, it’s not as easy to take his wolf with him everywhere these days, he’s just gotten too big. Keith has gotten into the habit of checking a place out first before bringing him along. Anyway, the Serrano kids are having a good enough time playing with him, so all is good.

So instead, Keith is early with only his datapad for company. He’s actually surprised that James isn’t. He had thought that James was a ‘15 minutes early is on time’ kinda guy. At least he used to be. Well, no one’s late yet. He makes sure the package is tied securely onto his hoverbike then leans against it to read some status reports. The Blades are fine, Acxa seems to be handling things well. Hmm... he wonders if he’s the problem instead. Considering his state of mind lately, it wouldn’t surprise him. Maybe he’s been looking at this all wrong. 

“Keith?” 

Keith notes the time on the datapad and looks up - it’s James, behind the controls of an AW-Cruiser. It appears that James has become a ‘10 minutes early is on time guy’, what a rebel. “Hey. No need to look so freaked out. You’re not late.”

“No, but I kept you waiting. Sorry I’ve been running sims all day to help Commander Holt figure out more tweaks to the new MFE prototypes. Kinda last minute, but we had some ideas after he tested me last week. You wanna finish what you’re doing? I don’t mind waiting. No space wolf?” 

“I’m starting to think you only invited me to dinner because you’re in love with my wolf.”

James sputters in embarrassment and it’s kind of amusing except it seems to confirm Keith’s suspicions. “That’s not it at all! I just…” James sighs and leans his head against the dashboard. “I don’t always know how to talk to you and your wolf is a safe topic. He’s also a sweetheart!” 

Keith has no idea what to say to that so they’re quiet for a few moments as James steels himself to stop hiding his face in the dashboard, but Keith is smiling. If his wolf is being a sweetheart to James, Keith really should give him a chance. “Okay, so you are in love with my wolf.” He can’t help but laugh at James’ indignant face. “Thanks. For the invite. I’d like to get to know you better too.”

James has a strange look on his face, wide eyed and shocked, so Keith clears his throat and changes the subject. “Anyway, it sounds like you passed the simulator test - no long-term effects from Hunk’s happy juice, congratulations.”

“Uh...yeah, thanks!” James laughs. “I mean I felt fine I just didn’t know if maybe there was an after effect? But I didn’t want Hunk to feel bad, making Hunk feel bad leaves you with one of the guiltiest feelings in the world.”  

Keith bites back the immediate comment he initially wants to make and nods instead. “Yeah. Can’t disagree with you there. So how far out is your sister’s?”

Keith easily follows James’ car for the hour-long drive to Eleanor’s cottage. Something is off. It’s further from the Garrison than Keith has gone since returning to Earth, but that’s because he tends to go as far as his father’s shack - it’s a miracle that the shack of all things, survived the occupation. This is further out from the shack, more in the direction of Amity - the largest town close to the shack, and where Keith had gone to middle school after his father died. 

  
Where Shiro had found him, and where his life began again. James’ home.

But none of the usual landmarks are here? Maybe he’s mistaken and got turned around? That’s worrisome, his navigational skills aren’t usually off. 

After some miles of almost nothing, sparse vegetation returns and Keith spies a pleasant cottage ahead. James pulls over in front of the gate and Keith pulls up beside him. He’s still looking around for a familiar landmark and feels vaguely uneasy that he can’t, based on where his mind thinks he is. 

“Jaime! Keith! Welcome! Come on in!”

Figuring out where they are will have to wait. Keith unties the package carefully and hopes that Lance knew what he was doing when he wrapped this up. 

“Hey Keith you didn’t need to bring anything.” James calls out as he holds the door open for him. 

Keith shrugs and walks in. “You don’t spend all day baking cookies with the Serranos and keep the joy to yourself. We have some...chocolate chips, cinnamon, butterscotch, lemon drops, all the favorites. Should I just put these on the table?”

The next few minutes is a whole ordeal of Keith just trying to help and the Griffins trying to stop him from helping. Is this what dinner and having friends like all the time?! It’s Eleanor who gives in first and just tells him where the plates are, and soon they’re digging into a homey meal of roast chicken, steamed vegetables, and three-sisters’ rice. Eleanor and James keep the conversation pleasant, talking about safe topics like the state of the galaxy, the Garrison’s new exploration initiatives, and asking him about the progress of Blade humanitarianism in Galra space. They’re the perfect hosts...a little too perfect for Keith’s liking honestly. When he was younger, a gathering like this would have frustrated his patience, all these little customs of courtesy that hid what people really thought.

Now, Keith has learned that people communicate their truths in other ways, even if they don’t say what they actually think. He pretends he’s sitting in another diplomatic meeting and lets his mind shift to work, observing the Griffins as if he’s in a negotiation. He answers their questions, asks some of his own and notes body language, tone, any kind of consistent theme to their conversation. 

From what he can tell, they’re just nervous. He wishes he had Hunk or Lance with him, Shiro, even his wolf. Hunk would serve some kind of food that was beloved to the town, Lance would ask about old family stories, Shiro would ask how the kids he had met at the school were doing...wait.

“I haven’t gotten a chance to see it since coming back to Earth. We had to end the occupation, then the Robeasts didn’t give us a break, right after we recovered well enough to leave the hospital we had to go out and help the galaxy, find Honerva...so much has happened since but, how’s Amity?” Keith asks the next moment he gets. Amity, their town - it’s the most fundamental thing Keith has in common with them, and Eleanor and James haven’t mentioned it, not once. 

The Griffins tense, and James’ hands clench into white-knuckled fists, his face drops into the familiar scowl he wore almost every time Keith saw him when they were reunited during the occupation. Eleanor smiles sadly and takes one of her brother’s hands. “You didn’t tell him?”

James clenches his jaw and takes a deep breath. “Never came up, Keith has the fate of the universe and all reality on his shoulders. Seemed kind of ridiculous to bring up one town. Especially when there’s no bringing it back.”

What? Keith wants to demand answers, or snap that you don’t get civilizations without the towns that make them up, but again decides on patience. “What do you mean?” He tries to ask gently. 

James’ expression changes from anger to resigned devastation. Eleanor’s face is a carefully controlled mask. “Jamie,” She says gently. “Why don’t you take Keith to the Amity stone?”

 

* * *

 

The stars are too beautiful when they head out again in the AW-Cruiser, this time Keith is in the passenger seat. They don’t talk. There’s a part of Keith that instinctively wants to provide some kind of physical comfort - a hand on a shoulder, a squeeze on the arm. But they’re not close enough, and Keith remembers how James tensed at the Garrison when he did do that, so he leans his head out to take in the unfamiliar surroundings instead. 

Keith still can’t recognize any of the landscape around him, but the stars are in the right place. It slowly dawns on him that they’ve been driving into a crater. The crater is in the exact spot where Amity used to be. 

Oh no…

Now with this realization, Keith’s mind can map out where they’ve been. Eleanor lives on the outskirts of what used to be this town, they’re driving into what used to be the center. They only have the Cruiser’s lights to illuminate anything but Keith doesn’t need more light to know that the crater is just dead rock - not even trees of former landscape has been spared. This isn’t right. The Galra were usually content to just attack a town, they didn’t absolutely obliterate a place unless they were very very angry. 

Eventually they slow and Keith sees the memorial. It’s as Eleanor said - a giant boulder that towers over any human. James wordlessly stops the cruiser and passes him a flashlight, to give them more visibility, he doesn’t turn the cruiser’s lights off. 

James has brought cut flowers from Eleanor’s garden, which he lays before the boulder. While James stands in silent remembrance, Keith shines the flashlight on all the names carved onto the rock. 

There are no words…

Keith looks on in horror at all the names carved onto the rock. Some he does recognize - other staff and children from the home and their caretakers, the policemen whom he had come to recognize after so many run-ins at the detention center, teachers, Mrs Collins the principal. He finds their names eventually - James Alexander Griffin Sr., Rachel Elizabeth  Szabó -Griffin. It looked like when the town was destroyed, Mrs Griffin finally had been its Mayor. All Keith can feel, is the loss. The more he walks around the rock the more it becomes clear that the only survivors from Amity were, for the most part, its children. At least there is that. Still, there are names on the rock that are far too young.

Keith doesn’t realize he has his arm on James’ shoulder until he’s holding him and James’ arms are wrapped tightly around him, fingers gripping Keith’s jacket. Maybe Keith is gripping too. He tells himself he’s giving James support, a shoulder that he needs. The shock is too soon, too raw, for Keith to feel as much as he knows he eventually will. He never liked Amity, he had never wanted to move to Amity, but this...no town deserved this. In the hand that’s still holding the light, he lets his gaze follow the beam to the empty rock that surrounds them. It’s so wrong. Amity prided itself on defeating the desert, a scientifically advanced town with carefully planned perfect gardens of green. Keith used to hate the artificiality but everyone else had been proud of it. Now nothing grows. 

Keith doesn’t know how long they stay there. Eventually they sit down, backs against the rock and idly look at the stars above them. 

“I’m so sorry James.” Keith eventually manages to say. His throat feels dry, there’s an ache deep inside that feels familiar, but mostly sympathetic. He once rejected the town because he knew they couldn’t understand his pain at the time. Keith had never meant for them to suffer any such loss. “Everyone on this rock...confirmed dead?”

James answers him curtly, but Keith knows it’s not personal. This is simply how James manages himself when he has to talk about things that hurt him. “The missing are assumed dead. I don’t know all the details, but Ellie told me that most the adults distracted the invading forces to get as many kids out as possible. A team of adults were supposed to lead them through the desert, find shelter in the caves, hold out and hide. She was one of them. It was a plan, but it didn’t really work, Amity held out for a couple of days, far longer than the Galra expected. Later drones and sentries eventually captured each and every single person that escaped and sent them to labor camps. Some escaped those, not all. Ellie spent the rest of the occupation as a resistance doctor, with only three years of med school under her belt. Some things you learn in the field the hard way.” James laughs without humor and shakes his head, looking away from the stars. “We thought humanity had put war behind us. You know in the beginning, Ellie never wanted to leave home. I think she resented space for bringing war to us again. She hated it that I ended up being a fighter pilot instead of a space explorer, she hated what happened here.”

This is a familiar story to Keith by now. He’s dealt with so many angry peoples from so many formerly occupied worlds, and the loss of direction of an entire race. His race. 

“But,” James continues. “She’s changed. I’m really happy now that she’s going to Altea. You don’t know how great it is to see her find beauty in the universe again. Maybe out there, we can make sure a little of Amity survives.” 

“That’s why.” Keith breathes out.

“Why what?”

“You don’t think I haven’t realized that you’ve been low-key protective of me? I appreciate it, I do but...we never got along James. I know we’ve both grown up but we never really talked till now either.”

James frowns at him. “Even if our town was still around, I’d do the same. Do es it bother you? Have I ever been in the way?”   
  
“No.” Keith replies with absolute certainty, even if he’s not sure that James would care quite as much if there were more faces from Amity still around. “Look I’ve...words have never come very naturally to me but, you have never been in the way. You and your team, you’ve saved our necks so many times, you’ve saved my family. You don’t know how grateful I am.” He has to control himself, thinking about Allura. “I can understand why your sister isn’t happy that you ended up flying a fighter jet, the James Griffin I remember was a huge nerd but…” He shrugs, “I’ve seen you fly - can’t imagine anyone else but you flying your plane.”

James gives him a familiar smirk, faded with sorrow and fatigue, but at least it’s there. “That’s somewhat nice of you Keith, but there are at least three other great pilots whom I know, can fly my plane.” 

“They can fly their own planes James, but they need you. No one can bring them together like you.”

The way he’s being looked at right now, it’s a face that Keith has never seen James Griffin turn on him. It’s probably make softer by the fact that it’s quiet all around them save for the chill breeze, and the fact that they’re sitting under moonlight and the stars, with only the cruiser’s lights illuminating some of the space around them. He doesn’t want that look but it makes him feel better. Keith wants to open himself to making a new friend but is a little out of his depth. Shiro had done all the work with him, the paladins shared their minds, the Galra just understood him and he understood them on an instinctual level but James? James is as human as they come. What should he say? This face, he remembers the last person he saw James look at, like this. What was her name? Blonde, terrible in the simulator, James' best friend...Isabelle. He had seen her name on the rock. Damnit.

“Town of heroes.” Keith mutters, he doesn’t mean to say it out loud.

It’s the wrong thing to say, James’ face returns to that stony military mask again. Good job Keith, he wants to hit himself but that would also be counterproductive. “Yeah Keith. Good for us, we come from a town of heroes.” There’s no pride or sadness in that voice, just resignation.

He sees James look back up to the stars with incredible longing and Keith gets it. Being out there distracts you from having to be here. But, James will have one month of it, helping his sister pack up a life in direct view of a place that is no longer here. Maybe it’ll be good for him, but it’s going to be hard as hell. James stands and pats the dust off himself. “Let’s head back before it gets too late?”

“Good idea.”

On the ride back, Keith stares at the darkness around them, at the void. He knows better than to lose himself to the anger, the strong desire to fight. He redirects it instead, and figures it wouldn’t be terrible for the Griffins if they could have that same anger easily redirected too. “Are you and your sister going to have to spend the entire month packing?” Why is he doing this?

“This week we’re putting aside all the stuff to give away. Ellie doesn’t want to carry too much with her to Altea.”

Keith nods, “Didn’t answer my question.”   


“Why’d you ask?”

Keith stops looking at the stars and looks at James instead. “Well... I was thinking I’m here for a month. I’ve never seen much of Earth other than the desert. How much of Earth have you seen outside of random Garrison outposts and Amity?”

James stops the car and Keith flies forward, only stopping because James has grabbed him. “What the hell James?!”

“No seatbelt Keith? Seriously?!”

“I expected you to be a better driver! Who brakes like that?!” Seriously!

Keith can’t see James too clearly in the darkness but he can still make out enough to tell that James is looking at him like he’s grown an extra head. “Keith, were you about to ask me to go on a trip? With you?”

“Your sister too!” Keith quickly adds. He doesn’t know why, but it’s important for James to know that the idea is to have both of them along. “And not immediately, just sometime before the month is over. One trip.” He needs some time anyway, time to see Katie tomorrow morning and ask her to come out here to the Amity stone with him; ask her to run some tests, some data. Something isn’t adding up.

James meanwhile, shakes his head and leans back against his seat. After a long sigh he just says “Would it kill you to sit still? Didn’t you just finish organizing the best wedding in the universe a few days ago?”

Keith doesn’t want to think about things that make him angry. “At the wedding you told me you know how crazy planning a wedding is. What? I don’t need a holiday?” 

James looks ahead, considering, and Keith waits him out, a little lost at what he's just done. Still, now that he has this idea, the better it sounds. Katie will need time to finish running tests, and she would be the first to tell him to take a trip. He’s going somewhere, regardless of what James says.

After a beat, James finally answers. “Alright Keith, where do you want to go?”


	3. Ghosts

Keith - Earth

 

Keith is grateful that Katie, Lance, and Hunk have come to the remains of Amity with him and Kosmo. Oh dammit, now he’s actually doing it.

But, Keith considers as he scratches his wolf’s neck, noting the lolling tongue and happy blue eyes. Hi wolf does respond to the name “Kosmo.” That is a kind of admission in itself. Kosmo it is. The thought puts a smile on his face despite the churning inside. He sighs and hugs Kosmo, just like he did the whole of last night in his room on Lance’s farm, silently remembering some of the names he had seen on the rock.

In daylight, the stark emptiness is different. Today, he can see the edges of the crater but the wideness is still astonishing. Before, with buildings and carefully tended parks, it wasn’t easy to see how large Amity actually had been, not as easily as it is now. It’s also easier to see the expanse of names carved upon the boulder.

The flowers that James had brought the night before are still there, but the wind has scattered them across the ground, haphazard and wilting, but still a welcome splash of color in an otherwise barren place. Lance, Katie, and Hunk place their larger bouquets at the base. They don’t share their minds anymore, but he can see the tears gathering in their eyes. Keith is grateful that they can cry much more easily than he does - he never really has, as much as he wants to. Maybe it’s another Galra thing, but sometimes he wishes he could just let some of his emotions go as easily as they can, rather than having to work or fight through it. Besides, some situations deserve the respect of tears.

“Thanks guys.” He lets out. “I just, I can’t believe I didn’t even think to ask. I lived here for a few years and just wanted to get away from it all the time, and now...”

Hunk pulls him into the type of all-comforting bear hug that’s a Hunk specialty and soon, they’re joined by Katie and Lance.

“I’m going to find out what happened.” Katie swears, and Keith has no doubts she will.

“Thanks Katie, sorry for adding more to your plate, what do I need to do to help?”

“Well…” She bends down and places her palms on the ground, frowning.

Lance closes his eyes, but Keith knows there’s no connection to Allura here, which limits Lance’s ability to sense much more from it than anyone else. While Lance and Katie are at work, Keith turns to Hunk. Other than himself, Hunk is the only one out of them all who knows the most about Galra culture and mentality. “What do you think, Hunk?”

Hunk takes a look around them and frowns. “I mean, you’re right Keith, this is an excessive amount of destroying for like, a relatively little town? Galra are planet conquerors, they think in terms of star systems, there’s no honor in defeating something this tiny and there’s nothing I can think of that would accidentally do this. It’s just weird to see them targeting a town. You think they knew about you somehow? That you came from here specifically? I mean this is...destroying Altea levels of pissed off but on a really really...micro scale.”  
  
“There’s no reason for them to even think of which specific little town I happened to spend three years in, when destroying the entire planet would do it.” Keith considers. “It’s just, as you said, weird. Could have been vengeance: Altea was vengeance, one planet for another planet. To earn this, Amity would have had to have taken out something equivalent, which, is unlikely. And this-” He kicks at the rocky ground they’re standing on, “Looks like it could also be destroying evidence.”

Hunk frowns, “Evidence of what?”

“The memories in the ground here are really faint.” Katie interrupts them. “Like I can kinda sense...sounds? Muffled sounds, but I can’t really see anything. Makes sense, this ground must have been several layers under the town itself.”

Lance sighs. “Sorry guys, I got nothing. Anything you can make out, Katie?”

“It’s…” She places her hands on the ground again, frowning. “I’m guessing it’s gunfire, screams, battle cries? Blasts.” A few more moments pass. “It’s more of the same. Look, I’m going to need to set up a tent here or something if you want me to listen into the whole thing, but given the quality of the vision I don’t think that would be the best use of my time.” She stops and pulls on a pair of gloves. “We’re going to have to do this the old fashioned way - I need samples, and I’m going to run them in the lab.”

Keith nods “What do you need us to do?  


* * *

 

 James - Earth

 

James lies down in bed and scans the flight performance records of the newest crop of cadets who have just been enrolled at the newly reopened Galaxy Garrison just two years ago. It will be a while before they’re ready for the MFE program, long enough for Commander Holt to finalize the next generation of fighters, but still, it’s just him, Ryan, Nadia, and Ina to hold the fort until they’re ready. They’ve already been at it for three years, there’s maybe another two more years to go. James hasn’t planned much for what comes next. He’s still happy to fly missions on the Atlas, and apparently starting this year, the four of them will be rotating out back onto Earth one at a time, to help teach some of the senior cadets and help decide which will enter the new MFE program.

James taps his datapad, thinking. This crop of cadets aren’t all human, so he’s been reading all he can on the different aliens and their worlds to be a better instructor, but he’s missing so much practical knowledge.

James sighs and puts down the datapad. He can’t sleep. It’s strange that it’s so peaceful and quiet out here, and it’s as close to home as he’s ever going to get now, but it’s different enough from what he’s gotten used to. Giving up, James activates the lights and looks over the proposed training program again - it’s a welcome new big project, the type that leaves a legacy, so he embraces it. James taps on the worst scores and tries to figure out where these cadets are struggling.

When he had trained, there was just a hint of the wider universe out there. These cadets really would have the whole universe available to them, and James was going to make sure that they would be more prepared than he ever was. But, he doesn’t really know where to begin with these particular cadets because their problem isn’t flight, it’s teamwork. He snorts and shakes his head with fond amusement. What would Admiral Shirogane do to get these kids to play on a team?

Eventually, James is restless enough to drag out his father’s old hoverbike. How it survived, Ellie doesn’t really want to say. He knows she rides it once a week to keep it maintained but otherwise it’s not her chosen ride. He slides on his new jacket, a worn, plain, brown leather, but he likes it. He pulls on his gloves and goggles and slowly slides his hands over the handles and the gear. He was still too young to ride it when he first left for the Garrison and only learned during holidays back home. Now that he thinks too much, it was too little time.

“Alright Dad, let’s keep your bike warm.”

It’s a quiet but easy ride back to the Garrison under cover of darkness and stars. It’s a little unhealthy perhaps that when he can’t sleep all he wants to do is fly, but he’ll discuss that during the mandatory therapy sessions that the Garrison demands of them. Until then…

It’s weird, it’s almost like his MFE is calling to him. The thought of it singing makes James rev faster, ride a little more recklessly, but after years of piloting an MFE, a hoverbike is easy. The only adjustment he has to make is to the much slower response time. He’s started to rely so much on thought when he flies these days, it’s a respite to have to adjust to mechanics. Still, he can’t just take his MFE on joyrides without leave. Technically it’s not his, it belongs to the Garrison, so a simulator will have to do.

For most of his Garrison years, simulators were his life. He didn’t have Keith’s natural instincts to fly, but failure wasn’t an option. James did what he always did in things that came harder to him - he worked fucking hard. Thankfully he had a mentor in Lt Westfield, Admiral Shirogane’s one-time flight partner and boyfriend, who similarly didn’t have a natural gift for flying. The first time Lt Westfield found James sneaking time into a simulator, it didn’t take long for him to understand...and to look the other way.

It had been Adam Westfield who had found James the night Keith had punched him. In his frustration and inability to sleep because of the pain in his jaw, James had snuck out of his dorm again to fly the simulator. And crashed every single time because of how mad he was. James didn’t hear the Officer approaching, so when he crashed again, he smacked the dashboard, frustrated tears forming in his eyes. That’s when he realized that Lt Westfield was standing next to him.

“S-Sir!” It was the most hasty salute James had ever made but Lt Westfield waved it away.

“At ease Cadet. How’s the jaw?”

“Fine.” James was already getting tired of people asking him about his jaw, and the burning righteousness he had felt all day was dimming considerably with how much his face was swelling. He should probably have been icing it.

“Good.”

James waited because he knew a lecture was coming. There was a part of him that had hoped he would have gotten away with it, but Lt Westfield had known better.

“I don’t know Keith well, but I’ve heard a lot about him and I trust Shiro’s judgement. I don’t think he would start a fight for no reason. But, I know you as well, and I don’t think you would instigate a fight for no reason. So, what really happened?”

It was like all the times James had ever felt inadequate at home, like he hadn’t tried hard enough, never worked hard enough, and therefore failed. And Ellie had to hold him and remind him that less than first wasn’t failure. There was no Ellie to hold him here, but everything was too frustratingly similar, from his shaking hands, the frustrated tears running down his cheeks, and the shame he had felt for even having these tears in the first place. Still, an officer asked him for the truth and James let it out, everything he’d been holding in since he’d arrived at the Garrison. “What is the point Sir? What’s the point of coming here and trying, and practicing, and working so hard, again and again, every night, if I’ll never be able to fly like him? I’m not even close. He outflies us with his eyes closed and half asleep! No one matters to him. I don’t matter to him. There’s only one person in this entire Garrison that exists to him and that’s Lt Commander Shirogane. Why did Shirogane even bother recruiting me along with Keith?! The first mission Keith will ever fly with us, I bet you he’s going to leave us behind. It’s such a waste and I just...he could be the best of us but he just doesn’t care! I got so mad, I wanted...I wanted to hurt him just to get back at him for hurting all of us! If I could get good enough to at least keep up with him, he might listen to me! But I can’t! I can’t even get close! So Keith is never going to care, and we’re all going to die, and it’s all my fault because I’m not good enough!” James even knew at the time that his rant didn’t even make sense, but when did rants ever make sense in the torrent of emotions that made them? He couldn’t stop the tears, so he hid his face in shame.

Lt Westfield seemed used to taking care of hysterical Cadets. James wasn’t the first, and he wouldn’t be the last, but he wasn’t done. As Lt Westfield put a steady hand on his shoulder, James hadn’t been able keep the secret in any more, and confessed through gulps and tears. “Keith lives in a group home. I don’t know why, but he’s never needed anyone and I don’t know why that bothers me. No I know why, it’s because I wish I didn’t need anyone, but no that’s not...argh! It’s... I need people to like me, and Keith doesn’t, and maybe it’s because his parents decided they didn’t need him and I was so mad at everything I wanted to remind him that no matter how good he flies, he’s still unwanted, and behavior like this is why, but I know I was out of line alright? I know it, I shouldn’t have said it, but he’s already punched me and I deserve it, so I’ll walk around with pain all over my face and guilt weighing me down and we’ll call it even for now!” That had been another lie he’d told himself - the guilt wasn’t going anywhere. It hadn’t even gone anywhere when he finally found it in himself to apologize to Keith the next day. Maybe because of James’ stony delivery, Keith just ignored James.

At that moment this evening though, Lt Westfield just guided him out of the simulator to the bathrooms so James could wash his face with cold water and take a moment to calm down.

“James, you know where you went wrong, and you know you have to apologize to Keith. As for the rest...you know when I was a cadet, Shiro was the natural. And yes, he was much nicer about it, but he was also bored out of his mind during drills and it showed. And yes, many of us felt inadequate. Including me. I was never a natural, so I chased after Shiro too, so much that sometimes I still feel the exhaustion in my bones today. But flying with him is something I’ll never regret. All that work, it’s worth it.”

James remembers looking up with Lt Westfield with an incredulous look. “Um...Sir you kind of have to say that right? I mean, you’re in love with the man so you’re not exactly...”

And even now, while riding his father’s old bike to the Garrison with the ghosts of so many people in his head, James has to smile at the memory of Lt Adam Westfield’s laughter at his comment. It had lightened up the mood and even stupid young James had to smile, despite the ache it had caused in his jaw.

He also remembers the final words Lt Westfield shared with him that evening, before urging him to give the extra simulator sessions a break until he fully recovered - “You know, when I used to do what you’re doing now, I asked Shiro to join me, so we could fly together even then. Turns out, he knew he made everyone else uncomfortable, and it meant a lot to him that I wasn’t avoiding him or putting him on a pedestal like everyone else. Best part? We taught each other a lot too - naturals have a harder time learning technicals and appreciating the basics. Maybe Keith will respond better to being included?”

James had never asked what Lt Westfield had meant - more included in the class instead of resented? Or included in James’ late-night desperate attempts to catch up to him. Either way, James had dismissed both options because inclusion had to be reciprocal - Keith had to want to belong to be included. As for breaking the rules with James...well, Keith wasn’t Shiro, and had just punched James in the face. James knew he had been in the wrong but he wasn’t ready to stop being angry about it, not when his face still hurt. Besides, whatever minuscule chance at friendship he had ever had with Keith was as good as dead now. You didn’t use the words James did, to so purposefully wound, and get away with it, ever. James didn’t expect Keith to accept his apology, so he was prepared when Keith ignored him through it.

So in class, James was polite, mastering his military professionalism so he never made that mistake again. He also never invited Keith to his simulator sessions because well...Keith was up for breaking rules but he would never break them with James. So James just kept it up on his own, practicing and practicing.

It wasn’t the same after Keith left, but by that point the simulator was habit. By that point, other driven cadets snuck in on their own and joined him - fellow cadets who became his fellow MFEs. Every free moment, every chance he got, he flew and crashed the simulator again and again until he learned, they all learned together - the hardest skills finally became instinct, and it was only then that he could trust that his body could respond before his mind had to process it. It was only then that he dared to even conceive of flying the way he imagined Keith could by nature alone, when he tried to ask what Keith would do, when piloting just clicked.

Ridiculous - even when Keith had disappeared off planet, he was still everywhere.

After too long a ride filled with churning memories, he’s parked the hoverbike and is inside the familiar building. Weirdly, Keith literally is right there. What the…?

“Keith? You know it’s 2am right?!”

Keith freezes and turns. The lights are dimmed in this room for the most part with only the screen providing orangey illumination. The large screen before him shows maps; pre-occupation Earth maps. Why?

“James.” Keith nods in surprise. “I didn’t realize the time. What are _you_ doing here at 2am? Aren’t you supposed to be on vacation?”

James looks back at Keith, raising an eyebrow. “Back at you.”

Keith shrugs and closes the program, leaving the Garrison’s orange and white logo staring back at them. “I’m on vacation from the Blades, not the Atlas. If I choose to spend my holiday doing stuff at the Garrison…”

James has to laugh at him too. “And they call me a workaholic.”

“Well, you are at your office at 2am on a holiday so...yeah.”

James shouldn’t think it, but a bit of exhaustion looks good on Keith - it makes him look softer. “Well, I can’t fly my plane so I wanted to get into a simulator.”

Keith just looks at him with...sympathy? Well, he supposes it does look pretty bad, turning up at work in the middle of the night just to pretend to fly. But Keith doesn’t know that this was basically James’ reality and routine for most his life now...thanks to Keith.

James tries to save himself from pity by adding “I’m helping the Garrison develop a new MFE training program. Would probably be good to remember what a simulator feels like again too. All these cadets won’t see the inside of a real plane for at least another year yet.”

Keith looks like he greatly pities these cadets. “Yeah.”

James rolls his eyes. “Yeah, not everyone is ready to fly the real thing the first time, flyboy.”

“Flyboy?” Keith leans against a console, arms crossed but his expression is horrified. “Yeah, no...that nickname isn’t me.”

“Emo Flyboy?”

“NO!” James has to laugh at the look Keith has thrown back at him. Once upon a time, Keith’s mastered “burn” faces actually bothered him. Now, they’re just amusing.

“Nerd.” Is Keith’s somewhat exasperated comeback, but other than a roll of his eyes, he doesn’t move.

“Fine Flyboy, but actually...if I could pick your brain...any suggestions as to how to teach the ones who are ready to fly, basically from the first time they ever step into a simulator? Because this is what I got.”

Keith takes the data pad, browses, then raises his eyebrows higher and higher. “Well, Nerd,” He gives out a low whistle. “Even the most inept flyer is going to be able to fly with this many hours.”

“Well yeah, that’s the point. I can relate to that just fine, what I’m looking for input is for…” He walks over and taps the screen until he reaches ‘Advanced placement program’. “It won’t apply to the current crop of cadets, but moving forward, I figure, some of the cadets will just be at a higher level. Most of them not from Earth would have grown up on ships or have some piloting experience already. Kinda like those kids whose parents taught them how to drive before they got their license right? And for these kids, it would really be dumb on the Garrison’s part to tell them they can’t actually fly and have to start over again. But...I’m not sure about this.”

“Why not?”

James scoffs, “Because flying is about teamwork. The reason why the Garrison used to make all cadets work together from scratch, regardless of aptitude, was to force us to complement each other, fill in where the other was weak. If I put some cadets into an advanced flying program, all I’m doing is promoting elitism. They won’t learn how to work with everyone, they won’t respect the others, and at best they just take care of each other. That’s not what new Earth is all about. So yeah, I’m not sure if this advanced program is a good idea.”

Keith hands the datapad back to him with a too neutral face. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but you’re looking for new MFEs. They will have to be the best, and the cadets who become pilots will be sorted out into different craft classes anyway. No matter what we used to say about cargo pilots, it actually takes a lot of skill to be one so maybe we should stop insulting them. The teamwork bit…” He shrugs, “Some take to that easier than others. There’s nothing for it but putting in the time, gaining maturity, and plain old practice. Just like the kids you want to throw into simulators  for hours so they can catch up with the advanced fliers, these other kids just need to be thrown into enough desperate situations to figure out how to work in a group. It’ll be easier to get them to do this with everyone else, if they’re not resented all the time for something they’re not doing on purpose - after enough shit though, they _will_ start doing it on purpose. I don’t see why they shouldn’t be in an advanced flying class. But, make sure they do the other team-building activities, better if they’re separated from the others in their advanced flight class - they’ll be closer because of being in that class anyway.”

Right. Somehow, James knows it shouldn’t have take this long to finally hear this hint of Keith’s side of the story. He should have asked, he should have tried harder to find out, but he’s still convinced he wouldn’t have been wanted. Still, James feels properly chastised. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Does Keith want the whole list? “For always being jealous of you, for having the shittiest ego and temper, what I said before you punched me. I mean do you want me to keep going?” There, he’s said it...again, but at least this time, he hopes he sounds like he means it. Whatever awkwardness that comes will just come damnit, and he will deal with it.

Keith doesn’t say anything, but then again he’s not obligated to accept the apology. He looks at James in a searching way, then steps away from the console. “Come on.”

“What?”

“You were headed to the simulators, right?” Keith doesn’t slow down and he has so much control over himself now that James can’t really read him either. “Let’s race.”

And just like that, James isn’t tired. He hasn’t thrum with this anticipatory energy, nerves, and elation since he was an idiot cadet who had just been chosen for the MFE program. Back when he hadn’t known what occupation meant, when he thought leadership meant faking it till you made it. Back when terror sat in his stomach but in a good way - because he knew he was going to do something great, but it was going to take so much from him.

Fuck, would it have felt like this if he had just fucking asked back then? Just once?

It’s ridiculous that the chance to race Keith in a simulator now is comparable to past life achievements of this magnitude but there it is. James didn’t realize how much he’s wanted this for so long, he had hidden it from himself so well, he had fooled himself.

Keith was who he was always running to catch up to, always the best, and James had learned to accept that. This chance to race? Bar flying the real thing, it’s going to be the best damn thing in his life, he knows it. When was the last time he flew for fun?

They don’t talk but James can feel the tension in the air, the barely restrained glee. Or maybe it’s just him. But he won’t have a chance of winning like this.

Breathe James, breathe…

Calm…

He goes through the mental exercises he always does before every mission, straps himself into the simulator that’s next to Keith’s and waits for him to enter the race program. By the time it loads, James is ready, focused as always.

The course is laid out before them and...what the fuck?! Of course, of fucking course Keith has programmed some mad race through a mined asteroid field into a poisonous volcanic gas planet with hull-eating aliens with laser-shooting eyes, where they have to navigate through a labyrinthine canyon. At the very end, a more open space but still littered with occasional rock formations. He should get Keith to design the fucking advanced flight program, there’s no way any of those kids could develop a cocky attitude with Keith as their instructor.

“Ready, Nerd?”

“Bring it on, Flyboy.”

Keith grits his teeth and James can’t tell if it’s annoyance, amusement, anticipation, or all three. He’s a little too distracted and intrigued by a sharp fang. “You.” Keith grits out. “Are going to regret that.”

James smirks and turns back to his screen, places his hands on the controls and waits for the rest of the countdown:

 

3 - 2 - 1 -

 

Everything disappears except the asteroid field and the silent vacuum of space. Sam Holt’s new simulators were all-encompassing and he can barely tell the difference between this and his MFE, except that he doesn’t need to wear his flight suit.

This entire race is a careful pin-drop test of speed and control. They can’t just navigate their way through the asteroid field, they have to do it without setting off the mines. Still, the field and the triggers are so dense, that it’s only a matter of time before one of them does. James reacts as needed, swerving between rocks and asteroids, angling and occasionally slowing and hiding behind other asteroids to avoid sensors - there’s no time to think in a scenario like this - he just needs to rely on instinct. He also needs to get in front of Keith, because depending on how pissed off Keith actually is about the dumb nickname, he just may set the mines off if James falls too far behind. This is a game right?

James has been trained to fly in a team for so long it’s hard to think of the person in the simulator next to him as an enemy. Keith has literally shared his mind with five other people.

No - Keith isn’t going to purposely set these off just to win a race. If either of them win, they’re going to win this right. Nothing to be said for accidents though, fuck, he just missed that mine by a few inches. Stop thinking James!

James doesn’t know how much time goes by, but he makes the executive decision to slow down and catch up in the dive to the planet. It takes all his concentration to clear the asteroid field, sweat beading down his neck. He almost does, dammit, until he doesn’t.

James curses at the sound of the high-pitched humming and commits to the decision to pull up as far as he can. The asteroid explodes behind him and he rides the force to propel him forward, barely avoiding the larger pieces of debris being thrown his way. It’s a bit of a miracle he manages it and his plane is damaged, but the force has placed him in front. He can’t believe it, but he can too - Keith hadn’t set off the mines and had cleared just ahead of him.

As they rapidly descend into the planet, James checks the screens to note the condition of his plane, then enters the sulfuric clouds. There’s low visibility in here, so James has to trust his scanners as much as himself. This is the only moment the difference between the simulator and his MFE is apparent - in his own trusty plane, James can almost see and sense the environment around him. In a simulator, it feels like an obvious missing sense that he’s handicapped without. He twists to avoid a laser-eyed alien attack, shifts a hard left to avoid a canyon wall, then a hard right to avoid a gas plume. The attacks come non-stop, it’s only when James flies a little too high under an arch to crush a hull-eating alien that he notices Keith coming up beside him, swerving from side to side to crush his own aliens. A sliver of a narrow gap looms ahead of them, between two long cliffs.

James blinks the sweat from his eyes as he blasts ahead at full speed, trying to beat Keith to the gap. He ignores the aliens landing on his hull because they’re not going to survive when he enters the gap - the sliver is only wide enough to take the plane flying perfectly perpendicular to the ground. But fuck, they’re weighing him down. Ignoring them was a mistake, he’s slowing down!

His screen flashes a weapon’s lock warning and before he can process evasive maneuvers, Keith has shot off the aliens stuck on James’ hull and blasts ahead. James doesn’t even think about it, he returns the favor, shooting the aliens off Keith’s ship in return, then turns his plane 90 degrees to enter the gap just behind.

There’s solid rock above and below, and Keith is right in front of him. James is sideways and he can’t overtake Keith unless he manages to keep perfectly straight, moving high enough above Keith or low enough below to overtake. This is technical to the extreme, so of course, James takes in his readings and tries it. If there’s anything he’s great at, it’s technical. But the moment he moves up, Keith follows, blocking him, when James moves down, Keith does the same. That little fucker.

He’ll catch up in the open valley after they clear this gap. The end of the gap opens up the world again and James finds himself taking in a deep breath of air, as if escaping a box. It’s not even that open, it’s just a place that finally unfetters them from the tight control of the earlier obstacles. Finally, finally there aren’t geysers or mines, just the chance to fly as fast as you can around natural rocky outcrops and obstacles. It even looks familiar.

James doesn’t realize he’s whooping with joy and freedom until he’s finished doing it, flying through arches and avoiding loose boulders falling off cliff edges. He doesn’t even care anymore that Keith is much more comfortable flying at higher speeds than James is. He punches it to catch up but there’s a limit to his control when he does this, and he inevitably has to slow down a little again each time an obstacle appears. Still, each time he swerves and avoids, he pushes just a little further, goes just a little faster. He may crash, he may finish, it doesn’t matter, he hasn’t pushed himself this far just for the fun of it in a long time, hasn’t tested his control and skill in a repercussion-free environment since he’d been a cadet. In short, it’s been too long since James has flown just for fun.

It’s too soon when Keith wins the race and James crosses the line after him. The screen goes black and shows their scores, while their chairs shift them backwards away from the immersive environment of the sim. It takes James a long moment to adjust to the familiar sign of the simulation room and catch his breath.

His breath, he’s breathing too heavily and still feels like he’s coming down from a higher plane. Oh God, when was the last time he’d felt this good? This is even better than Hunk’s happy juice!

It’s the sound of Keith breathing, just as heavy, that finally distracts James from looking longingly at the plain screen of the simulator with his score. He turns to his side and sees the hottest sight he’s ever seen - Keith leaning back in his chair, staring at nothing, breathing hard, pupils black and blown wide - are his eyes...yellow? Must be a trick of the dim light. Sweat drips from his temples and James’ eyes traces a bead down Keith’s neck until it disappears into his collar.

“Feeling better?” Keith croaks, James was staring too long, Keith noticed him.

“What kind of race is that?” James ends up asking in wonder. He’s still catching his breath, his heart his beating too fast. The change from constant adrenaline rush to black screen is too fast.

“The kind of race we make overly cocky Blade recruits go through when they get too hard to teach. None of them actually make it past the gap.” Keith looks far too satisfied and James finds he can’t really stop staring at how Keith’s chest is also rapidly rising and falling, how his lips are parted - yes, now would be a good time to stop looking.

“You race it all the time?” That would be unfair.

“No, first time. Been meaning to but haven’t gotten around to it. It’s actually my Mom’s program. She went easy on this one for the recruits, I never finish the sims she actually makes for me.”

James’ cheeks hurt when he grins in response. He must have been grinning too much through the race. “So, that’s how she keeps you from being too cocky?”

Keith lets out a short laugh and James just realizes he can count the amount of times he’s seen Keith laugh on one hand. “I mean, she makes them for me because I enjoy them, too.”

James wants to say something along the lines of how cute it is that Keith’s Mom makes video games specially designed for him and can’t bring himself to. He doesn’t feel like he has the right to poke fun at Keith in the same sentence as any of his parents. Instead, James just smiles. “That’s sweet.”

“Um. Yeah. So...feel better?”

That was for him? James falls back to his seat with a smile, staring at his score. It doesn’t really matter what it is, he does feel much better. “Yeah, I should remember what it’s like to fly for fun.”

“Fun.” Keith smirks. “Well, when you run your advanced class, you can use this program. Cocky kids will at least stop to listen to you after they see you outclass them. After that though, it’s up to you to say the right things.”

And somehow James realizes that it really is going to be okay between them, a new chapter and all. He knows and appreciates a gesture when he sees one.

He just doesn’t know what actually being Keith’s friend is going to do to him, if just sitting next to the guy while he’s breathing hard is confusing him this much. But...it’s not new, is it? Everyone loves Keith, Keith is just focused on saving the Galra. James can't even be jealous of such a noble cause, not like he used to be jealous about Keith's single-minded focus on Shiro.

“James?”

James turns to see Keith’s soft concern and it constricts his chest in a wholly unwelcome way. It’s around 3am, he’s coming down from his flight high and there’s a part of him that wants to lean over and find out how Keith’s lips would feel against his, in the silence of this empty room; a part that’s asking ‘why the hell not? He’s lived most his life without Keith as a friend, but has never managed to stop looking, comparing, catching up. If he messes up now, and loses Keith's friendship before it has a chance to even begin, would it be terrible?’ The answer to that impulsive question is ‘yes it would be terrible, stop being a selfish fucking idiot.’ So James stops.

James is really really lucky that he stopped and also that Keith has less romantic awareness than a cardbox box. Keith looks like he’s waiting for James to say something. At the continued silence, he just furrows his brows a little and tilts his head.

 _*POOF*_ What?

One moment James is looking at Keith and the next he’s an inch away from Kosmo’s inquisitive eyes - wait, no, Kosmo is not actually its name. Still!

The wolf whines and Keith sputters, “Kosmo! What? You are not a puppy anymore!”

Wait, so the wolf’s name _is_ Kosmo? James is so confused. And so is Kosmo, who has transported himself between their seats and is stuck. Kosmo disappears again and appears next to Keith, who hugs him reassuringly. “Hey boy, sorry I lost track of the time, you must have gotten worried.”

James looks down and winces a little at the damage to the simulator seats but well, the Garrison has learned to deal with worse over the years. It’s a problem for future James anyway. Instead, he walks around to Kosmo’s other side to scratch his neck - it’s still mind-boggling how big Kosmo has gotten and for all they know, he’ll just get bigger. Kosmo seems to like it though because he nudges James to put his arms around him to give him more love.

“James, did you want to say something just now?”

God, no. “Um, no. Sorry about that, I think sleep has finally caught up with me, I can’t really keep track of my thoughts. Thanks for the race, that was really great. We should probably take it easy when we’re flying Ellie around though,” He laughs. “Not that she can’t take it, but I’d rather not have to deal with an earful of angry older sister.”

Keith nods. “Well, it’s not safe for you to drive when you’re this tired. Come on, Kosmo and I will take you home. I can also return your car in the morning.”

It feels like far too much. “Don’t trouble yourself, I left the car at home and rode my Dad’s old hoverbike here, I can ask Ellie to help me grab it.”

James barely has a second to process Keith’s non-expression before the Garrison pops out of sight and he feels an odd sucking sensation in his stomach. One moment they’re in the simulator room and the next they’re in front of Ellie’s cottage. “Good night James.”

James tries to glare but can’t really. It’s impossible to stay annoyed when Kosmo looks like he wants a treat. “Just wanna say, next time I hope I get a say in whether I’m transported somewhere, but thanks. Good night, Keith,” He doesn’t have treats for Kosmo, so all he can gift is to reach up and scratch between Kosmo’s ears. “And goodnight boy! Such a good wolf! Thank you!”

Keith gives him a look that’s unreadable in the darkness, then disappears. It leaves James standing alone in the chilly night wondering what the hell just happened, and deciding if he feels elated or dismayed. He also knows for a fact that younger James was a total idiot for never taking Lt Adam Westfield’s advice and at least trying to ask Keith to sneak out with him, just once, to the simulators. In some other better universe, James now wants to imagine that his younger self has had years of these races with Keith, and who knows? Maybe in that universe they actually are friends. Or more.


End file.
